Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Edditing and Re-crafting

Today we practised re crafting a piece of writing. The first paragraph belongs to Aldora and the second paragraph is mine.
Aldora’s Version
As we were getting near some more puddles, I realised that the track was dangerous. Jogging carefully down the slippery stairs I nearly slipped but luckily I held onto the tree. I was happily saved by the tree.

                                          My Version  
As I ran up towards the stairs, I reached some more muddy puddles. Looking down at my shoes they were all dirty and greasy. “ Wow this is a very scary and yucky race” I said to myself as I ran through the squishy grass.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Sela,
    I really like your work because you add lots of cool words and you used topic words and you worked
    hard. You put lots of effort to your story the thing I like about your words because you put words that is intersting.