Today we practised re crafting a piece of writing. The first paragraph belongs to Aldora and the second paragraph is mine.
Aldora’s Version
As we were getting near some more puddles, I realised that the track was dangerous. Jogging carefully down the slippery stairs I nearly slipped but luckily I held onto the tree. I was happily saved by the tree.
My Version
As I ran up towards the stairs, I reached some more muddy puddles. Looking down at my shoes they were all dirty and greasy. “ Wow this is a very scary and yucky race” I said to myself as I ran through the squishy grass.
Hi Sela,
ReplyDeleteI really like your work because you add lots of cool words and you used topic words and you worked
hard. You put lots of effort to your story the thing I like about your words because you put words that is intersting.